Grief to Grace ~ Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

We can grieve too long or not at all.  Both are unhealthy.  Both lead us to places where grace is needed more than our grief.  If we hold onto grief and do not make our way to grace, we hinder our journey.

We cannot carry grief over losses without them turning to anger, bitterness, or sadness.  When grief takes root in us it grows into its own powerful entity.  It keeps us from forgiving or finding comfort in the Father’s love.  When we carry our grief too long it will isolate us from others and insulate us from hope.

Greif becomes selfish after a time.  It is not wrong to still feel the loss but we must not hold onto grief.  We must both accept the grace we are given to move beyond grief and give grace to others in our grief.  It is the transportation to the grace that heals our hearts.  

We cannot love as the Father commands without moving from grief to grace.  We cannot receive the Father’s love without grace.  If I hope to follow well, I must deal in grace and most importantly when it comes to grief.  My losses are nothing compared to what we gain in Christ.  My hurts turn to hope when I believe that the Father has it all under control. 

This time is the opportunity to work it out so that others can be loved and so that I can love.  Eventually, every tear will be gone because the Father will wipe them away.  There will be no more grief.  Let us prepare for this Dear Reader by turning our grief to grace now.  We will walk easier and share more good things.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

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Grief to Grace ~ All Lives Matter, BUT…

Greetings Dear Reader,

We understand as a community the anger and pain of loss.  When the towers fell in New York, we dropped our differences for a few days and were one people grieving loss and unjust violence.  We know that all lives matter but we do not live that way.

Our society has many ills that scream that all lives do not matter to us.  Our nation is filled with the homeless, suicidal veterans, human trafficking, and many forms of prejudice.  We murder the unborn for the sake of convenience.  We tolerate racism even if we are not racist.

All lives matter but we do not live like it.  Jesus makes it clear that all lives matter but there were times when he also made it clear that prostitutes' lives matter, children’s lives matter, and even Roman Soldier’s lives matter.  He was concerned about the Samaritan, the Gentile, and the sick.  He made it clear that at times there are groups who matter and need specific attention.

My obligation in following Christ is to listen when someone feels that his or her life does not matter to me.  I am obligated to pay attention when a group of people feels oppressed.  Further, I am compelled to love them so deeply that I work against oppression and prejudice of any kind.

The current outrage calls me as a Christ-follower to love those who are outcast or mistreated.  It demands that I not care about politics or opinions but, rather, that I use all that I have to treat others justly.  I must respond to Black Lives Matter without regard to anything but the degree to which Christ loves them.

The violence and hatred that accompany the grief are wrong.  On any scale, it is not acceptable to do violence just because we are angry, hurt, or feel a loss.  On every scale, it is our obligation to respond to prejudice with love and justice.  The obligation of the Christ-follower is to love every human in every instance.  When I fail to hear the cries of those who feel mistreated, I am guilty of failing to love them as well.

The broad brushes with which we paint currently are all negligent of the truth.  The Father has painted us all individually even though some of us are very similar.  If we think for a moment that we are exempt from responsibility for our brother’s welfare, we are wrong.  We need to remember that the first murder was a result of envy and neglect of love.  Jesus would be reminding us yes, he cares for every life, but right now, we have a community that is in pain and needs our love more than any of us realize.  They need our care, justice, compassion, and kindness.  We need to help them turn their grief to grace by owning our failures to love them like Christ does.  We cannot demand that they speak equality over lives that matter when we will not treat their lives with the same equality.  If we respond to every complaint, true or false with love, we cannot go wrong, Dear Reader.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

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Grief to Grace ~ Two Sides of the Same Coin

Greetings Dear Reader,

Part of the difficulty in turning grief to grace is the unknown.  If we allow our grief to be transformed, we are unsure of what will happen.  We cannot be certain that we will find the peace we need.  It turns out that fear in which we indulge is the reverse of the coin of faith.

So many avenues exist that are possible when we forgive, restore, or relent in our anger.  The person upon whom we have mercy may not have changed their attitude or actions.  The hurt we have may be worsened.  Others may never live up to our expectations.  We fear that if we learn to accept the loss, whatever it may be, that our hopes and expectations will not be met.

We get lost in the process because of what we believe.  We believe that people will leave, die, or continue on unchanged.  We fear that if we let go of our grief from past harm that we will be harmed anew.  We will not transform our grief into grace because we do not realize that fear is faith.  It is faith in the wrong things.

As I work to recover from the darkness that had such sway over me, I realize that my fears were faith in the darkness being more powerful.  It does not matter where the darkness resides.  If it is our fallen nature or an outside source, we can still find it in us to move to faith in Christ instead of that darkness.  We can grieve that we are broken.  We can allow Christ to provide the grace for us to see the grace we can give.

I need to become a conduit of that grace in every aspect of my life.  Unless I bring every facet of my own fear to heel, I cannot be gracious.   I cannot hope to deal in grace if I carry the grief of things I cannot control.  In recognizing that my fear is faith in the wrong things, I find the power to turn my grief to grace.  I find the focus shifts to Christ in every situation that is painful.

Once again, Dear Reader, the answer comes down to where I focus my mind and heart.  Even in the places where the pain makes me weep and despair wishes the stage, there is hope.  There is the chance to turn death into a fighting chance to live.  We do not even have to find the strength to fight.  Christ promises to provide the grace for us so that we can in turn extend grace to others.  It always comes back to following Christ with all our hearts.  That only works when we exchange fear for faith.  Fortunately for us all, that exchange never closes and belief is the only currency required.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

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BLOG Archive:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

Grief to Grace ~ The Logic of Leisure

Greetings Dear Reader,

One of the things that we see often when others are grieving, is that they are told to rest.  Even in the grief of daily lives that are not as we wish; it is rest that can restore us.  As a society, we do not rest as we should.

When we grieve over things it drains us of strength.  We must make the time to rest from our grief.  The difficulty is that when we do not see our grief, we only feel the weariness.  We spend the energy we have chasing things that still grieve us instead of things that restore us.  We do not leave space for real rest and restoration.

Another layer of difficulty, however, exists.  The grief that we have not processed or even that which we have denied robs us of rest.  It takes our leisure time and fills it with pain and fear.  We allow our thoughts to focus on loss and want instead of turning our grief to grace.

We need leisure to make the time to process and heal.  Failing to do so saps us of strength and faith.  We become ensnared in our grief and lose the grace we need to continue the journey.  We lose trust and fail to have faith that things will unfold as they should.

I must learn to balance life with proper rest.  I must use leisure time to work through things that keep me from grace.  The idea is to find ways to have grace in every situation.   It is the Father’s grace that is there to remind us of our need to have the same for others.  So, I ask you, Dear Reader, to allow us some time to rest.  Both of us can find a way to rest and restore each other as we allow the grace of the Father to work through us.  Then we can journey further, better able to wield love, and be protected from offense. 

Chasing Cars – Grace Gaustad

We'll do it all, Everything
On our own

We don't need anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say how I feel

Those three words are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace to remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where; confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

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BLOG Archive:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

Grief to Grace ~ On Monday

Greetings Dear Reader,

I wonder if we consider how we treat Monday.   I am sure you are wondering what Monday has to do with grief or grace.  To understand, first one must consider all the things we say about Monday because for most it is the beginning of the workweek.  People who work a different schedule will even say “Wednesday is my Monday.”  We blame the day for what we do in our lives.

The other side of that is we often start new things on Monday.  When have you ever heard someone say, “I am starting my new diet on Saturday?”  No one starts a diet on Saturday even if it is their Monday.  The point is that we use Monday to carry ills that are ours.

So, now that you understand what I mean, I would like for us to consider that all of the things we grieve on Monday are things that we are allowed to grieve but must also work to change.  Most of our reasons for maligned Mondays are related to our dissatisfaction with other things.  I am thankful for the work that provides for my needs and the place I have to live.  It does not mean that I do not still desire to derive my income solely from my writing and wish for Project Tortoiseshell to be realized. 

I must allow that moment of grief that it is not so to be lived each Monday when I arise knowing that I am not where I wish to be in these areas.  Then I must accept the grace to trust that the Father is working things out.  I must use my faith to live out the requirements to count on the Father and follow the Son.  If I malign Monday, I am not allowing the flow of time to be part of my faith and following.

It is in choosing to live in grace on Monday that I can find peace from the grief of my situation In learning this I can learn to identify what grieves me about where I am and seek to change it.  We find the things we grieve about our situation and turn them to seeking the grace that the Father offers to live out who we are meant to become. 

Nothing in our lives is beyond becoming a better reflection of our faith and following if we allow it.  Monday can become the day where we celebrate the vast grace in our lives that already exist.  We can have a moment of grief for the things we wish were here.  Then, we can again seek the grace to become that which we would rather be.  That, Dear Reader is the journey, and Monday is just a day.  

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

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BLOG Archive:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

Grief to Grace ~ The Long Goodbye

Greetings Dear Reader,

I find that I have reached that stage in life where there are long goodbyes.  I do not mean partings for journeys or life-changing moves.  Those happen as well and sone of them are grievous.  I am in the stage of life where colleagues and friends are beginning to die.

People with whom I went to college and mentors from my youth have gone on to the clearing at the end of the path.  They are beyond my ability to remind them of my love and gratitude for their place in my life.  It is one of the things we must carry as we age.  It is a source of grief that is difficult and inevitable. 

If I am going to turn this grief to grace, I must look to their benefit and not my loss.  I must see their gain.  If I love them more than myself, I will work through the grief knowing that they are free from the struggle of the journey home.  Feeling joy at their gain helps mitigate my loss.

There are also the partings, losses, where no one has died but the strife in the journey has caused one or both parties to refuse to show love to each other.  This too is grievous.  I am guilty of this in my past and endure it presently as well.  The grief here has comfort to turn it to grace too.  I use a simple polemic to keep my heart focused on following Christ and trusting the Father in everything.

It is this:

Major Premise – The Father Provides for all my needs

Minor Premise – The relationship I have lost has not been restored even though I have sought forgiveness and tried to restore it.

Conclusion - I do not need that relationship restored yet or it would be so.

I am free then to trust the Father to restore this at his pace.  I can deal with that person in love and grace from a position of humility. I must live out the consequences for my failures without complaint or anger.  I can feel grief at the loss of that person’s time and attention but since all things will be one day brought back to good, there will come a time when peace is restored. 

For now, I must follow Christ in love and grace, praying for those who are living and absent.  I must feel loving joy for those who have reached the end of the journey.  My loss is their gain and that, Dear Reader, is how I am supposed to live.  It is hard but turning this kind of grief to grace is a great benefit in drawing closer to the one we follow.  It is a source of peace that cannot be robbed from us.  It is a practice in selflessness that is uniquely holy.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

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Medium         Instagram 

BLOG Archive:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

Grief to Grace ~ Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

When we determine that we are going to lay aside fear and anger, we do not get the luxury of a vacuum.  Once we confront the things that breed fear and anger in us, there is often grief.  It hurts more than the fear or the anger because those things were meant to mask it, protect us from confronting the grief.

Grief can be so powerful and debilitating.  If not dealt with properly, it can lead to depression, more anger, and bitterness.  It can cause us to abandon all that we value and perhaps ruin our lives. 

What I must do is keep abandoning my fear and anger as well as grieve the things that caused it.  I have barely begun to acknowledge privately the fear and anger that influenced my thinking for so long.  I have found the void left behind to reveal great grief over my losses and failures.  Some of them are recoupable and redeemable.  Some things are seemingly beyond hope.  I, however, am filled with hope and am just beginning to understand why.

It begins with a clear understanding of good priorities and flows into a realization of how that comprehension works out in daily life.  I am beginning to understand how to navigate the narrow road and give it broad application in my life.  What I must do is work through the path of grief to grace.  If that which we deal in is grace, I must sus out how to get there in every aspect of life.

I am not sure how long this process will take to think through but I know it will take the rest of my life to get there.  I promise not to write this series for that long.  I do intend, Dear Reader to ponder how to get from grief to grace for a bit.  Please walk with me and help me with your thoughts and questions.  They are part of the source of my hope.

Grace – Kate Havnevik

I'm on my knees
Only memories
Are left for me to hold

Don't know how
But I’ll get by

Slowly pull myself together

There’s no escape
So keep me safe
This feels so unreal

Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it seems
Turn my grief to grace

I feel the cold
Loneliness unfold
Like from another world

Come what may
I won’t fade away

But I know I might change

Nothing comes easily

Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it was
Turn my grief to grace

Nothing comes easily
Where do I begin?
Nothing can bring me peace
I’ve lost everything
I just want to feel your embrace

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:

#aramisthorn

Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn

Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          

Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com

Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com

Facebook       Twitter        

Medium         Instagram 

BLOG Archive:  http://aramisthorn.blogspot.com/ 

Second Thoughts – The Silence in the Corner

Greetings Dear Reader,

Sometimes I will end the day with thoughts that are important to get out.  Usually I just write them and put them in my journal folder.  I have chosen that on occasion I will share them with you Dear Reader.

There is a new silence in my life.  It crept in last night unannounced and without invitation.  It is the silence of a song that had become the companion of my solitude as I research and write. 

It is in this silence that I find the waiting echoes of all the noises I had blocked out with his simple song.  Last evening my bird, Landroval died.  This morning his early song was eerily absent as I read my Bible and prayed.  Throughout the day his chirps and small attempts at speech were a cacophonous absence.  The echoes of other voices that reach for me were louder and I had to fight harder to get through the day un-distracted.

He is so easily gone but not so easily missed.  It seems foolish to feel so much over a bird because it is too much and still not enough.  I am sure some of my other pent up pain is drifting out with his loss.  I am sure that I do not fully understand the love the Father has for this tiny spark of his creation.

I do, however, feel the full depth of the love I have for him, his song, and the conversations we shared.  The silence in the corner will have lease for a time.  In this I must not fail to see the outworking of all things to eventual good.  This loss will make me a better follower if I allow it to do so.

One cannot control the things one would.  One does not always get to say goodbye.  One can always say, “May your eyries receive you at your journey’s end.”   

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

183,000 Stages of Grief – Resigned – Closing Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

Since the only way out is through I must resign myself to how I feel this year.  In the midst of this I know that the Father is faithful.  I know that he has not left me alone in my grief.  I also know that he is only as effective as a I allow him to be for me. 

As I watch others endure grief I am thankful that I do not sorrow without hope.  It does not remove the pain.  It does provide direction and motivation.  Even when I travel in pain I do so in faith.  I feel pity for those who encounter grief and have lost or never had faith to see them through it.

I recall the hopelessness involved in loss when before I had faith.  It was so devastating.  The losses since are just as painful but there is hope.  That is the substance of continuing.  That is that energy that keeps me moving. 

Death and the grave will not win.  The pain will pass.  For now it will subside.  Days will flow through the glass and perhaps my passing will cause grief and loss for others.  I would rather that the Father set all things right sooner.  For now I follow in faith.  For now the only answer I have is Jesus.  “Don’t ask me for the answers; I’ve only got one.  A man leaves his darkness when he follows the Son.”

Broken – Lifehouse

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight

Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time

I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts

I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain, there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head

I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead

I still see your reflection inside of my eyes

That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

with a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain (in the pain), is there healing

In your name (in your name) I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin') I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day

Just to see what you throw my way

And I'm hanging on to the words you say

You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone

I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

with a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain(In the pain) there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

183,000 Stages of Grief - Besieged

Greetings Dear Reader,

Some days this blank page is a monster that taunts me.  That is the case today.  I do not wish to deal with the honest raw emotions that are clamoring for attention.  I would rather delve into some creative writing or other distraction.  I have, however, made a commitment.

When my heart besieges me in this way writing is very difficult.  It is also difficult to be honest about the ways in which grief besieges me.  It shuts down all my motivation.  It turns my movements into leaden weights.  It turns air into molasses.  I still must move.  I still live and be and accomplish.

I will follow in faith but today I would rather be carried.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

183,000 Stages of Grief - Surprised

Greetings Dear Reader,

We search for feelings that we lack but desire.  C.S. Lewis wrote an amazing work, Surprised by Joy detailing his search for joy.  Sometimes I am surprised by grief.  There are times when it stalks and pounces me like a ravenous tiger. 

So many things can set it off.  It depends on the nature of the grief.  The old wounds get opened by events, anniversaries, and things.  The wrong song can rip open an old loss.  The right conversation can put me back in the moment of loss and pain.  Circumstances trigger strong feelings and the energy I need for other tasks goes to fending off or processing those feelings.

We erroneously respond inwardly or even outwardly to the pain and loss.  We are in the moment but others see it as past.  Some wounds never truly heal.  I have minor reminders of loss every day.  Those I process fairly well.  It is the unexpected reminder or conjunction of events that can cut the deepest.

It is not that I do not accept what the Father allows.  He is with me.  There will be pain in this life.  I am on a journey back to good and no pain.   What I am not able to do is leave all the pain behind yet.  Without my faith there would never be joy.  Without following my direction would be lost.

The conjunction of Resurrection Sunday and Rachel’s birthday combined to put my back in the moments of loss of family, life, and stability.  The losses have mounted to this place where I live alone and spend too much time in solitude.  I will get through it but if I do not face it a greater event will build inside me.

When surprised by grief this year I could see that I had a choice to deal with it or suppress it.  In choosing to deal with it I had to do so in the right way.  Paul tells us to “be angry and not sin.”   I would say that we have to do the same with grief.  Feel pain, loss, betrayal, and abandonment and do not sin. 

As my Grandfather would say, “do what is right even when it hurts.”  I have to not use others.  I must not be harsh or impatient with others.  I must feel what I feel without lashing out or transferring.  With all this in mind, the only way out is still through it.

The through it is realizing that I am not alone in my pain and grief.  My loss is shared by others.  Even alone in the dark I am not truly alone.  When I cannot walk I am carried.  When I cannot sleep my cries are not unheard.  As with all things, however, this takes faith.  I believe, Lord help my unbelief. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

183,000 Stages of Grief – Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I promised not to get too morose and not to belabor this too much.   As grief revisited me yesterday I also watched a dear friend encounter a holiday weekend with fresh grief.  It occurs to me that some forms of grief impact us differently than others.

While the renewed pain is still fresh and I have the courage to walk through it I need to explore this recurring, almost debilitating feeling.  I could not be all that I wanted to be yesterday; a day of celebration.  Even today I feel beset by the desire to sit in silence and solitude and weep over things I cannot change or control. 

It is not a depression.  It is not a dramatic display of histrionics.  It is a raw pain that erupts from time to time and takes me longer to master.  The pain is always there.  Most days it is a manageable ache in my spirit that propels me to be compassionate.   It keeps me aware that others are in pain.  It keeps me looking for ways to show love and kindness to others.

Yesterday, however,   I did not even wish to get out of bed.  I did not wish to be kind or loving to anyone.  I wanted to sink into the depth of my sorrow and relive all my loss.  That, however, is not the right thing to do.  It is not who I am made to be as a Christ follower.

I grieve the grave but not the girl.  I hurt in hope.  We talk about stages of grief.  There are so many and I must walk through a few to get out of this place.  I could use your company Dear Reader. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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Losses Not Our Own

Greetings Dear Reader,

I have mentioned often my favorite diner.  I go there Friday mornings for breakfast.  Since my first visit a particular waitress has been accepting and kind to me.  She is good to my children and grandchildren.  She always treats us well.

Angel of Grief - Daniel Hartwig

Yesterday as she poured my coffee she informed me that her mother had just passed away.  Tears filled her eyes as she accepted condolence and comfort from me.  She if from Israel and will not be able to return home for the family funeral.  She sat with me for a few moments and expressed her pain and loss.

Last year my dear friends Ashley and James lost a daughter suddenly and unexpectedly.  As a parent who has lost a child I can tell you that this inconsolable pain.  As they worked through their grief I could see the love and faith they carry.  There was little I could do for them but pray.

I think that this is a very central piece of following Christ that we carry a bit of the losses of others with us.  Every man’s death diminishes me.  Every soul is a soul that is God’s and he calls it back to his presence when he wishes.  We do not understand or accept always.  It is up to us to care for each other until acceptance is possible.

My friends’ losses are my losses.  Their pain must be my pain as well. I cannot feel it the way they do but I can assure them that I know loss and accept theirs with love and compassion.  Not knowing what to “do” for those in pain must not keep us from loving, listening, comforting, and praying.  It must not drive us away but pull us closer.

There is not loss of life that does not impact me.  Death keeps me honest by asking constantly if I care.  It keeps me honest by reminding me that everyone I encounter deserves my best in love, compassion, and kindness.   Any hope of faithfully following Christ must include for me the sure knowledge that there are no losses that are not my own.  After all, there are no losses that are not Christ’s as well.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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