183,000 Stages of Grief – Opening Thoughts

Greetings Dear Reader,

I promised not to get too morose and not to belabor this too much.   As grief revisited me yesterday I also watched a dear friend encounter a holiday weekend with fresh grief.  It occurs to me that some forms of grief impact us differently than others.

While the renewed pain is still fresh and I have the courage to walk through it I need to explore this recurring, almost debilitating feeling.  I could not be all that I wanted to be yesterday; a day of celebration.  Even today I feel beset by the desire to sit in silence and solitude and weep over things I cannot change or control. 

It is not a depression.  It is not a dramatic display of histrionics.  It is a raw pain that erupts from time to time and takes me longer to master.  The pain is always there.  Most days it is a manageable ache in my spirit that propels me to be compassionate.   It keeps me aware that others are in pain.  It keeps me looking for ways to show love and kindness to others.

Yesterday, however,   I did not even wish to get out of bed.  I did not wish to be kind or loving to anyone.  I wanted to sink into the depth of my sorrow and relive all my loss.  That, however, is not the right thing to do.  It is not who I am made to be as a Christ follower.

I grieve the grave but not the girl.  I hurt in hope.  We talk about stages of grief.  There are so many and I must walk through a few to get out of this place.  I could use your company Dear Reader. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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