Managing Expectations

Greetings Dear Reader,

Recently a friend agreed to be at a certain place at a certain time.  I needed to have an important conversation with this individual and we carefully scheduled at time.  The person cancelled after it was too late for me to usefully reapportion the time.  I had passed up on a dinner invitation from another friend to wait for this individual.  The communication made it clear that the situation was unusual.

I arranged to have a shorter conversation with this friend and the friend assured me that the meeting would take place.  Again I waited and the friend was a no show but this time with no communication.  It is situations like this that cause me to walk an emotional tightrope.  Walking this requires that I battle past pain and embrace current leaning about faith.

I expect people to do what they say they are going to do.  This is a reasonable expectation as long as it is managed.  The line exists where I manage my expectations of others and fulfill my duty and desire to show grace and love.  Due to past pain I get very hurt when someone does not keep his or her commitments.  I used to be quite ogrish about this but have learned that this does more damage than good.  I am determined to fall on the side of kindness and understanding but sometimes I feel inadequate to deal with the feelings of hurt and rejection.

The focus that I have adopted to deal with this is to learn more about Christ in the processing.  If I in an attempt to follow Christ more closely, I view things from his perspective it helps.  Before I become angry at someone who has not kept a commitment to me I must remember just how often I fail in my commitments to Christ.  If I feel this level of pain in this situation how much then must it cause sorrow in God when I treat him this way.  How much more must it be when he deals with a world that does the same?

It is right for me to expect others to do as they say they will do.  It is only right to the point where I transect my obligation to show the love and grace that I am shown.  I still feel what I feel but putting that feeling in perspective of my other obligations makes it much easier to manage my expectations of others.  This individual is in need of the later much more than I need to indulge my feelings. 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."