What Fuels Me – Fear

Greetings Dear Reader,

Unfortunately there are still times when I am driven by fear.  Most of the time this is a social problem.  I fear that others do accept me or approve of me.  This is so deeply rooted in the abuse and damage of my youth.  The past works hard to tether me to the pain and rejection.  For a long time I saw almost everything as a rejection of who I am.

By the grace of God I have moved beyond much of that but there are still times when my core reaction is fear.  There are still events where I feel that who I am is neither accepted nor valued.  In these moments giving in to fear causes me to fail to follow Christ properly.

When I fuel my motivations with fear I am by default putting my interests first.  This is always wrong.  If I fear that I am not being loved, appreciated, or valued as I wish to be then I am being self-centered.  It is not who others see me that matters.  It is accepting how Christ already knows and views me that must fuel me.

If I accept the love that Christ has for me then it will arm me to fight the fear.  If I act in fear then I am not excising my faith.  When I feel fear is it vital that I respond with faith.  It is only in this that I can assure that I am seeking Christ and not what I think I want or need in the moment.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store."