Say What You Need to Say – Isolated Areas

Greetings Dear Reader,

There are places in me that are isolated from others.  When Avalon left I closed a door that I have yet to reopen.  I am not talking about romance but rather about that deep rooted part of me that I show to so very few people.

When a marriage ends there are things forced on the one who wishes to remain married.  There is a type of isolation imposed for which there is no solace outside of Christ.  I know that all things work together for good.  I know that I do not always see that truth in the moment.

Things like my heart and dreams have no counterpart to listen to their story and hopes.  The isolation from understanding, compassion, and intimacy is hard as well.  I think that my flaw so overshadow my capacity to love that it makes enduring life with me an untenable position.

I am not feeling sorry for myself.  As with all things I am trying to be real about the struggles and questions that I have in hopes that it will benefit someone else.  I also have the flaw of believing things that others do not. 

There is a way to endure this isolation and some days I do it well.  Other days are a constant battle against loneliness and tattered thoughts.  Some activities still bring painful memories that attempt to whither my faith and determination to do what is right.

In all of it there is one thing.  It all forces me to depend on Christ.  The long dark is mine to travel whether I will it or not.  It does not matter what I want.  How I behave with what is there shows my faith and determines my following. 

Every moment I am in the nexus of choice.  The choice is to follow through the void with only the light of Christ as my beacon or to try and satisfy my wants at any cost.  The choice is to realize that even in the isolated barren places of my heart I am not alone.  The vast emptiness composed of moments is full of potential.  That potential is only realized in Christ and trusting that he has all my needs under his care.

Nexus – Dan Fogelberg

Across the vein of night

There cuts a path of searing light

Burning like a beacon

On the edges of our sight

At the point of total darkness

And the lights divine divide

A soul can let its shadow stretch

And land on either side -- either side.

And balanced on the precipice

The moment must reveal

Naked in the face of time

Our race within the wheel

As we hang beneath the heavens

And we hover over hell

Our hearts become the instruments

We learn to play so well.

Wealthy the spirit that knows its own flight

Stealthy the hunter who slays his own fright

Blessed the traveler who journeys the length of the light.

Outside the pull of gravity

Beyond the spectral veil

Within our careful reasoning

We search to no avail

For the constant in the chaos

For the fulcrum in the void

Following a destiny

Our steps cannot avoid.

Across the vein of night

There cuts a path of searing light

Burning like a beacon

On the edges of our sight

At the point of total darkness

And the lights divine divide

A soul can let its shadow

Stretch and land on either side.

Wealthy the spirit that knows its own flight

Stealthy the hunter who slays his own fright

Blessed the traveler who journeys the length of the light.

In a spiral never-ending

Are we drawn towards the source

Spinning at the mercy of an unrelenting force

So we stare into the emptiness and fall beneath the weight

Circling the Nexus in a fevered dance with fate --

Wealthy the spirit that knows its own flight

Stealthy the hunter who slays his own fright

Blessed the traveler who journeys the length of the light.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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