Second Thoughts ~ Tinfoil Hats as Seen on TV

Greetings Dear Reader,

With the memes about storming Area 51 flooding through my feed, I have felt that it was time to revive stories of tinfoil hats and alien chases from my youth. I have written about my beliefs concerning extra-terrestrial life.  I have also expressed my joy in good science fiction. 

I do, however, avoid tinfoil hats as a rule.  Well, until, today I did.  You see, I knew that eventually, someone would figure out how to make money on tinfoil hats.  I also knew that someone would find a way to get unbelievers to wear them as well.  NOTE:  I do not mean “unbelievers” as in infidels or non-Christians.  I am referring to those who do not believe in aliens, conspiracy theories, or the positive effects of tinfoil hats. 

As a walked through a local sundries store in search of beer, coconut, and teabags I was shocked to see something new.  This will not be used together for those already imagining conspiracy theories involving fermented coconut tea shandys.  I simply like coconut and sweet tea.  As to the beer, that is a distraction that will yield another story later.

Still, there is the tinfoil hat to consider.  I saw it on the “As Seen on TV” aisle.  It is called the Arctic Hat and claims that it will keep your head 20 degrees cooler than the outside temperature.  For your viewing pleasure, I found a recent review of it by Jeff from Jeff reviews4u.  According to Jeff, it works.

It may, and I have no skepticism about that.  What I do wonder is why it looks so tin-foiley.  I suppose many more people would wear tinfoil hats were they more stylish and easier to keep on one’s noggin.  It seems to me that Arctic Hat may be fronting for the people who think we all need tinfoil hats at the ready.  Perhaps they are finally trying to get us to participate even if we do not believe.  They need numbers and know we will want the hats when the aliens arrive.  Did I mention that the link offers a two for one deal?

FOIL – Weird Al Yankovic

I never seem to finish all my food
I always get a doggie bag from the waiter
So I just keep what's still unchewed
And I take it home, save it for later
But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation
Microbes, enzymes, mold, and oxidation
I don't care, I've got a secret trick up my sleeve
I never bother with baggies, glass jars, Tupperware containers
Plastic cling wrap, really a no-brainer
I just like to keep all my flavours sealed in tight
With aluminum foil (foil)
Never settle for less
That kind of wrap is just the best
To keep your sandwich nice and fresh
Stick it in your cooler (cooler)
Eat it when you're ready
Then maybe you'll choose (you'll choose, you'll choose, you'll choose)
A refreshing herbal tea

Mmm, lovely!

Oh, by the way, I've cracked the code
I've figured out these shadow organizations
And the Illuminati know
That they're finally primed for world domination
And soon you've got black helicopters comin' cross the border
Puppet masters for the New World Order
Be aware: there's always someone that's watching you
And still, the government won't admit they faked the whole moon landing
Thought control rays, psychotronic scanning
Don't mind that, I'm protected 'cause I made this hat
From aluminum foil (foil)
Wear a hat that's foil lined
In case an alien's inclined
To probe your butt or read your mind
Looks a bit peculiar ('culiar)
Seems a little crazy
But someday I'll prove (I'll prove, I'll prove, I'll prove)
There's a big conspiracy

 

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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