Greetings Dear Reader,
Were I still working with my friend Dwight, he would observe
how much he would hate going to the gym next week. He is faithful in his exercise and
activity. His disdain is for the influx
of newbies coming and mostly soon leaving.
We all know how irritating it is in January when the gym
resolution-aires show up and get in the way of our routine. We have been faithful all year and here come
the short timers thinking they own the place.
Here are some ideas to thin the herd and get a laugh or two. Dwight let me know if you try any of these.
- Clean out a Hershey’s chocolate syrup bottle and use it for a water bottle. Enjoy the staring eyes, gaping jaws, and unfettered judgment.
- Wear a fat suit on Monday through Thursday – Return without it on Friday. Offer to sell your secret for $1000.
- When no one is looking, place a large bowl of left-over Christmas candy on the check in counter.
- Slip empty candy wrappers into the gym bags of strangers who come as a couple ~ don’t get caught.
- Have the most unhealthy food you can find delivered to the gym in the name of someone else there.
- Arrange for a food truck to show up at breakfast time.
- Place coupons from competing gyms on the wind screens of cars in the parking lot.
- Greet newcomers warmly and be their BEST FRIEND EVER. As they leave tell them that next time you will introduce them to the Brotherhood of Suffering for Shape.
- Put Pringles cans in the water bottle holders on the tread mills.
In the event that some of you do not see my Cheshire smile
or the tongue firmly implanted in my cheek, I am not suggesting that anyone
sabotage another’s efforts at health. We
do need to find humor in the changes that people vow to make and for some
reason cannot manage. We also need to
change our feeling of discomfort over others using “our” space. The problem is not the crowd. It is how we
view that crowd. It is almost always our
heart and attitude that creates inconvenience.
So Dear Reader, if you need to exercise then go do it. If you feel put out by the influx of newbies
in your circle perhaps you should find a way to welcome them and help them
succeed. I know that I need to be more
fluid concerning changes when they come.
I need to understand that the time to change for the better is the
moment I realize that I need to and not on an arbitrary day on the
calendar. It is vital to my progress
that I dare to move closer to Christ and allow others to move as well, even if
it is to MY elliptical.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every
writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a
home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure
store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Contacts for Aramis
Thorn:
Support Page on
Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn
Bookings at aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com
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