Sensitivity Training – Toxic People or Toxic Situations

Greetings Dear Reader,

This is another of those fine lines with strict requirements.  It is a path one must walk when following Christ.   There are toxic people.  They are besieged by things that cause them to do more harm than good.  We will return to my thoughts on that shortly.

First I would address the easier task of toxic situations.  Circumstances can evolve where even well-meaning people find themselves in an untenable situation.  The problem occurs when unhealthy behavior becomes the norm.    We see it in extremes when people endure abuse on a regular basis because they cannot see that there is a way out.

When we see a toxic situation we are obligated to work to ablate it.  We must do so in love and patience but we must do so.  Excising a toxic pattern in a group can make the stronger and more productive.  I once worked with a group of people who had developed a pattern of working overtime to exhaustion.   When I refused to buy into this as a necessity they assured me that I could not get my work done without the same pattern of behavior. 

By the grace of God I was able to set an example of working smarter and not harder.  Even our supervisor was skeptical until I showed him a few weeks of consistent success.  He was the one who suggested the team try my approach and to their benefit it worked.  When our productivity rose and the overtime was unnecessary we saw increased moral as well.  Toxic situations are reparable as long as there is not a toxic individual feeding the problem.

Toxic individuals are a more difficult to deal with.  Whatever pain or need drives them to be so is not something one can easily unravel.  In many cases we cannot motivate the person to change.  It becomes necessary to then determine the level of exposure that is healthy for us.  No one can determine this for someone else. 

There is no room for hatred or anger at the toxic individual.  We may feel these things but we cannot allow them to live.  We must love everyone if we are to love God.  It is required, therefore, that we determine the depth to which we can involve our lives with the individual without taking damage.   We also need to be very certain that we do not reject someone out of hand.

There are other factors that must be considered.   What is my obligation to the individual?  Am I dealing with the impact of this person properly for my own health?  Are my thoughts and actions ones of love, humility, and grace?  I must be sensitive to the needs of others but not at the expense of my own well-being.  Even in the path of the toxic there is a measure of protection.  Again it is a hard line to walk and I can only do so in faith.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)