You Were Never Meant to Carry This – No Condemnation

Greetings Dear Reader,

The younger me has memories that constantly haunt me.  A parent who abandoned me and filled my life with lies challenges every attempt at self-worth.  A spouse who told me that I was no longer viable on paper echoes in my mind every time I try to advance my plans.  Someone I love telling me that I was at the center of the worst moments of their life cripples my attempts to be good to others or even any feeling of good when I succeed.

There are also the memories of a Grandfather, who, no matter what I did never condemned me.  He lovingly guided and corrected.  He always listened.  He always had time for me until he ran out of time.

I wish that the positive and hopeful things echoed more loudly in those moments of pain and heartbreak.  Mostly the condemnation is what I hear.  The power comes in whether or not I choose to listen to it.  Sometimes it freezes me but sometimes it frees me.  The voice I listen to makes all the difference.

We are not meant to carry past condemnations.  We are not designed to prosper under the weight of our failure.  This is why we are required to leave them at the cross.  It is why we are to deal with each other in grace, mercy, and forgiveness. 

Some days are glorious.  Some days I am just holding on, blocking out the condemnations of my past.  In either state there is no condemnation from Christ.  In him we live, love, and hope.  We should not be surprised when we move outside of his grace that things do not get better.

Broken – Lifehouse

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight

Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time

I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts

I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain, there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head

I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead

I still see your reflection inside of my eyes

That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

with a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain (in the pain), is there healing

In your name (in your name) I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin') I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day

Just to see what you throw my way

And I'm hanging on to the words you say

You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone

I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

with a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain(In the pain) there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm barely holdin' on to you.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn

Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”

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