09 January 2020
Back to Normal ~ Lines of Communication
Greetings Dear Reader,
One of the things that happens over holiday seasons is that we interact with and sometimes even reconnect with friends and family. When this happens, it can be filled with joy or a time of impatience and avoidance. Memories can be tricky things. They can both heal and haunt. We choose what they do to us.
It is first vital to understand that no matter how anyone else treats us, we choose whether or not we become offended. Let that settle on your mind for a moment. Fend off all the arguments that arise in the mind to blame others for your reactions. Be honest and admit that we are the ones who choose our responses.
After we lay that on the foundation of the truth that we are supposed to love everyone no matter what it takes, we need to practically approach how we remove distance that is immeasurable in a relationship. We need to decide that this person cannot offend us. Then we need to see that the “normal” of no communication is not who we are meant to be. We need to consider that there are simple, low-risk ways to avoid the risks.
I will be practical for a moment. That person that you saw; find a way to communicate. If an actual conversation is unsafe or unwanted, send a letter (this is where you put something on paper, put it in an envelope, put an address and stamp on it, and mail it.) People used to communicate this way. One could send an email or text. It does not have to be long or complex. It can just be, “Hey, it was nice to see you. How was the rest of your holiday?”
The point is that the normal of not communicating is not normal. We are meant to express love and kindness to others no matter who are what they are. We need to lay aside our offenses, forgive past wrongs, and find a safe but effective way to keep communication open.
Our society has increasingly taught us to cut people off. It says that we can label them as something to be avoided rather than someone to be loved. We relegate them to the other end of the big table or living room a couple of times a year and pretend to be cordial. We label them as toxic or some other socially acceptable epithet. We carry a low-burning resentment over past behavior and swear that we have forgiven him or her.
Instead what we are doing is judging every moment of his or her future based on the past. This, Dear Reader, is not love. It is carrying offenses. I am not saying that we need to be close to everyone. I am saying that we need to be sure that we have done our part. If we need to do so from a safe distance, do so. The point is to live every moment with love for others that allows us to put aside the past and communicate in love. It is not easy but it is worth it. If it is only a thread, keep the line of communication open.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
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