25 March 2020

Second Thoughts - COVID-19 Lessons Learned Part I

Greetings Dear Reader,

As the virus wends its way through our world, I have begun to collect lessons learned for our after-action report.  As a good project manager, I am watching you all.  Here are a few observations. 
  1. Do not pick Thick as a Brick as your handwashing song.
  2. Your life-long obsession with having enough TP did pay off (I feel smug not having to buy any [I do not have THAT much {Stop judging me}]).
  3. That sweet lady in front of you in line is a Banshee when the cashier touches her face.
  4. The Banshee will then use the keypad without giving a thought to how many fingers have touched it that have touched who-knows-what.
  5. The cashier will cry if you are nice to her after the Banshee screeches at her (the Banshee will glare at you for being nice to the cashier).
  6. Really old people will hit you to get at the store shelf if you are in the way.
  7. When really old people hit you, pretending you are hurt helps them move on to the next person in their way.
  8. No one believes you have allergies anymore (even though you do, [no really, I do {I swear I am like this every Spring and why are you spraying me with Lysol?}]).
  9. Handwashing, Toilet Paper, and Sanitizing Gel belong on your dating profile.
  10. Extroverts now understand how introverts feel when they are forced INTO social situations.
  11. You touch your face 325,602 times per day without realizing it.
  12. Your stock of food meant to last for four to six weeks talks to you all day long on day three about eating it all.
  13. Every store I have been to has plenty of Tofu.
  14. When TP sales go up, Prune Juice sales go down (check the isles [If you do not understand this, ask an old person {This is just funny to me}]).
  15. Take long isolated drives just to take advantage of low gas prices.
  16. Anyone who can homeschool multiple children is a hero.
  17. School teachers should earn what politicians earn.
  18. Politicians should earn what teachers earn.
  19. There really is a TP usage calculator (like I have not always done that in my head my entire life [See 2 above {Stop judging me}]).
  20. The store will be out of buns but not hotdogs.
  21. When all the frozen vegetables are gone you will still find lima beans and succotash.
  22. No one is hoarding gallon jars of pickled pigs’ feet.
  23. People who know that you are a “hugger” will avoid you.
  24. When you do not try to hug people, who know you are a “hugger” they will judge you.

There is much more and I will add to the discussion as we roll through this time.  The most curious thing I have seen is that someone Toilet Papered the local water treatment plant.  Please share your light-hearted lessons learned with us, Dear Reader.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Contacts for Aramis Thorn:
Support Page on Patreon: www.patreon.com/aramisthorn
Novels: From My Publisher or on Amazon          
Web Page:  www.aramisthorn.com
Facebook       Twitter        
Medium         Instagram 

No comments:

Post a Comment