Greetings Dear Reader,
“and our tormentors mirth”
I recall being told as a boy, “you will spend time with him,
and you will like it.” The context does
not matter. That I was being required to
like it was the problem. One cannot
force someone to like something. It
seems small but there is damage there that still haunts me.
I do not think I can imagine what it must have been like for
a people held captive to be required to be mirthful. Remember that the actual Psalm begins with
the same people weeping when they remembered the land, the home from which they
were taken. Worse still are those born
into that captivity who only heard rumors and stories of home. They could hear the songs and stories but had
never experienced being home.
Ever since I can remember feelings of home and belonging
have been fleeting for me. Since I began
attempting to follow Christ, I have longed for the home to which I
journey. Still, along the way, I must live
here and like it. Unlike the captives in
Babylon, I have a way to find joy as I am captive here. It is not enough but it gets me through.
Some days, I feel so weary of the struggle to find the joy
in the journey that it seems too long and arduous. The joy is there, however, in every
moment. Even in the pain and need, we can
find joy in Christ if we seek it. It
becomes again a matter of faith and will.
It becomes what all of the journey is, a choice.
Part of the reason this song has besieged me seems to be
that I long for things. I long for
things to which I am not suited or entitled.
I long for things that are good and right as well. Most of all I find that the requirement of mirth
from those who are as besieged as I am to be hypocritical. We fail to allow people to own their dark
struggles and still feel loved and valued.
In owning mine and trying to be transparent to those I love,
I have found some that hear my words, see my wounds, and still love me. I have also found that some of those who are
supposed to love me always have pushed me further away. Still, the only way to combat the darkness is
with light. Embracing Christ, the Light
of the World, and seeking to follow him more closely is the only way I find
mirth on this journey Dear Reader. Your
kind words and questions are a part of that joy. I shall recover my jovial nature again soon,
but today, your walking with me is more helpful than you realize.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every
writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a
homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure
store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Contacts for Aramis Thorn:
Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com
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