31 August 2019
Three Nights I Died ~ Closing Thoughts
Greetings Dear Reader,
I believe that there is much more I could say about this but September beckons. As mark my first year in this place the Cherokee named “Beautiful”, I think very differently about the days. I make plans but they are all for the purpose of benefitting others or sharing time with those I love. I love life but only moment by moment.
I think perhaps that is what we miss in following Christ. He asks us for our lives and we struggle to give them to him. What he does when we die to self is request that we follow him through every remaining moment of our lives. He will give us back each moment to which we die filled with his love and presence. That sounds a little smarmy even to me until I ponder what it really entails.
The process goes like this:
I am about to step into the next moment
I choose to look for how the love of Christ can be seen and expressed in that moment
I choose that path
I have followed Christ in that moment
If I accept the truth that it is Christ that we live, move, and have our being, then nothing else makes sense but to do this. I have seen this simple practice unravel pain and fear that I have carried since I was nine. I have seen my thinking shift from what I need to feel good to what I need to follow well. It has allowed me to be a peace when assailed by anger both just and unjustified. It provides no need to harbor resentment, ill will, or hurt. It has helped me be honest about my deep darkness with those who are ready to hear it.
I do not have all the answers. I have not arrived Dear Reader. I still have to yield every moment intentionally to remain yielded. Even in that, I depend on the Father’s grace to accomplish it. I must keep vigil over my thoughts and use them to lead me to actions that are created of faith and following. We are meant to keep each other company as we journey in this way. I am going to keep moving in this direction. You are always welcome at my side and your thoughts and questions always make the day richer.
The Vigil – Kemper Crabb
Waiting for flame in eye of night, I am the fuel for your fire
Light calls ever unto light. Make me a fleshen pyre.
Touch my lips with the altering coal; leave your shining upon my soul.
Zion shall ever be my goal; Zion the telling of light.
Scanning the silence with inward ears; life is a listening.
Enfolded in echoes of timeless years; the Word comes whistling.
Build my being from your throat; meld my meaning with every note.
Wrap me round in an aural cloak, so I may truly hear.
Drawn towards destinies darkling kite, riven by reality
Riding the passion to terrible height, life upon death’s tree
Cause me to drink from the chalice of fire. Forge me anew in the heat of desire
Let me inhabit the holy empire and make war on the armies of night.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
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