Greetings Dear Reader,
Last Memorial Day weekend I had an event that forced me to
face that part of me that I had avoided, closeted, and denied since I was
nine. All those years I made poor
choices to keep his voice at bay. Most of
my poor choices in life are because I allowed his potential to be stronger than
my faith in Christ.
I make no excuses here.
The choices were mine. There is
room for understanding, however, that I was fighting a war that no one knew. I sought out counselors. Some helped me be stronger. One told me that my situation was hopeless
and that I would eventually give in to the darkness.
When I arrived home from an unexpected journey to the beach this past Memorial Day weekend, I noticed an odd difference. That voice that had vied for my heart and
attitude for so long was silent. I still
knew that I had an inclination to things that were selfish and unloving at
times. That deeper darker passenger,
however, seemed to have stayed at the beach.
The waters of the ocean seem to have washed him away.
Three months on, he is still silent. He is not in residence constantly asking me
to follow his lead and not Christ’s.
This is far too mystical for my focus in following Christ. My faith is practical. My desire is to use faith and not seek signs
is hardened in me. That night as I
drifted off to sleep, I began to understand death to self at a level previously
unexplored.
I have told a few people I trust about this part of my
journey. Mostly for the sake of
accountability I have discussed the darker details with people who I think
would understand or who I think deserve to know the whole truth. The evidence to me that I have changed is
that no matter their response or reaction, my heart has been to love them. Fear of what may be the reaction is there but
has no power.
Your company on this part of the journey helps more than you
know Dear Reader. I want to be a better
man for you whether you ever see it or not.
Someday I may write about the details of that facet of my journey. For today, we will continue to focus on life
after death to self.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every
writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner.
He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Contacts for Aramis
Thorn:
Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com
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