Greetings Dear Reader,
Oh, I want a lover and I want some friends,
And I want to live in the sun…
The things I want have changed greatly over the last
year. I spent many years trying to force-build
something that was more based on my wants than on my faith and following. I told myself and others that I was creating
something good. The something would be
good if it were not I that was trying to build it.
I do want the things listed above but I have always tried to
control them when I have had them and that destroys them. In my first college years, I lived in the
sun. I did not value it when I had it and
now I long for those days often. I did
the same with the women who dared to love me.
I used expectations and control to try and force the proof of love that
they already showed me daily. I fear I
have learned this lesson too late.
Faith, however, makes followers of us all and the one we follow insists
that we not lose hope.
Even though I have made new friends, I long for the evenings
spent gaming and dining with the ones from years past. I am learning to stop at loving others without
expecting anything from them. It is more
rewarding than I ever imagined. The big
payoff is that I receive the love I long for from others BECAUSE I do not
demand or expect it.
Wanting these things is good. Realizing that the Father provides what I
need at the right time and measure pushes me to let go of expectations and hang
on to hope. It drives me to quit
demanding that the future hold what I think I want and to let it unfold the
things that I need. I am determined to
embrace the moment by listening more than I speak, giving more than I take, and
loving instead of demanding love.
Hanging in those moments are the times when the songs arise
in the lonely darkness; when I am alone in that barren land between turning off
the lights and drifting off to sleep.
Those times become easier when the drifting time is filled with memories
of a day just passed in love and gratitude instead of control and demand.
I cannot change the past.
I must, therefore, not waste time and creativity imagining what I could
or should have done. I am learning from
it. I will invest those lessons in
creating new moments of love and grace.
Those who risk my presence will not have to endure demands and
expectations. When you choose to walk
with me Dear Reader, we can share the moments in which we choose to love others. We can realize that hanging by those moments
is the best way to fly. The songs that
arise in the darkness will have sweet refrains that become a lullaby instead of
dirge. You are welcome to sing along,
always.
Hanging
By A Moment - Lifehouse
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you...
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer
who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner.
He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Contacts for Aramis
Thorn:
#aramisthorn
Bookings: aramisthorn@aramisthorn.com
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