Responding to Anger ~ Energy and Expectations

Greetings Dear Reader,

Anger is exhausting.  It saps our energy.  Sustained anger damages us physically and emotionally.  It gives us energy from the wrong sources.  The anger has to be stoked and managed if it is to live.

This is true because anger is not meant to live.  It is born to pass.  It arrives but must not have a lease.  When we give it a lease, we allow it to take up space that is supposed to belong to love and kindness.  We have to feed anger and it is never satisfied.

When we consider responding to anger, we must manage what we will sustain and what we expect.  Just because I choose to manage my anger properly does not mean that others will and I must not expect it of them.  Even if it is the right thing to do, I cannot place that expectation on other humans.

If I respond to anger in love, others may still feed their own anger.  The aforementioned is true and they wear themselves out.  Even if their anger was once justified, hanging on to it exhausts them.  Too often in our society, our failure to forgive others results in us feeling they are toxic when what is poisoning us is the anger we still carry beyond the incident.  Sometimes, our “triggers” are our own failure to forgive and move on without the anger. 

If I am to love others then I must not court anger past its instance.  I must, instead, forgive and do all that I can to show love.  When I am successful at this, I must not further place expectations of any kind on the other person.  Expectations are the tendrils that choke out the love I am trying to convey.  There are times when love must be one-sided to work.  If I am faithful to that, the anger and hatred of others will tire them out. 

They may never choose to reconcile with me, but I can be assured that I have managed my anger well and treat them with kindness.  There is always hope, however.  I have been a part of the moments where anger gets laid aside, love wins the moment, and two souls reconnect.   That is one of my favorite moments in our journey together, Dear Reader. 

Putting love first allows us to keep our energy, abandon expectations, and seek peace.  The place in which we stand when we do this is strong and secure.  It comes into being through love and humility.  It is the essence of following Christ.  It is the source of our joy.  It may sound absurd, Dear Reader, but responding to anger with love, grace, and mercy is the answer to all of our ills.

The Basin and the Towel – Michael Card 

And the call is to community

In an upstairs room, a parable
Is just about to come alive
And while they bicker about who's best
With a painful glance, He'll silently rise

Their Savior Servant must show them how
Through the will of the water
And the tenderness of the towel

And the call is to community
The impoverished power that sets the soul free
In humility, to take the vow
That day after day we must take up the basin and the towel

In any ordinary place
On any ordinary day
The parable can live again
When one will kneel and one will yield

 Our Saviour Servant must show us how
Through the will of the water
And the tenderness of the towel

The space between ourselves sometimes
Is more than the distance between the stars
By the fragile bridge of the Servant's bow
We take up the basin and the towel

And the call is to community
The impoverished power that sets the soul free
In humility, to take the vow
That day after day we must take up the basin

And the call is to community
The impoverished power that sets the soul free
In humility, to take the vow
That day after day we must take up the basin
That day after day we must take up the basin
That day after day we must take up the basin and the towel
Take up the basin and the towel, basin, and towel

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

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“The space between ourselves sometimes is more than the distance between the stars” – Michael Card