03 February 2019

Desperado ~ The Pain in our Pleasures

Greetings Dear Reader,

“These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow”

When we deny ourselves love from others, we leave a void.  We fill that void with things that isolate us.  We find activities and pursuits that make us comfortable in our solitude or keep the rest of humanity at a comfortable painful distance.

John Donn pointed out that “no man is an island unto himself.”   When we clothe ourselves in resistance to love, we put on a suit of false satisfaction.  That false image projects itself as gruff, happy, or indifferent depending on our choices.  Whatever our choice, when we choose solitude we hurt ourselves and rob others.

I am not saying that there are not times for solitude.  That is necessary and healthy.  It is not the solitude to heal, grow, or recreate ourselves that is wrong.  It is the solitude of resistance that is dangerous.  We become hard from it.  We push away those who truly love us and often blame it on their flaws. 

Our pleasure in this solitude may come from self-righteousness, judgment of others, or placing our wants over what is absolute right and wrong.  It may stem from anger or bitterness over the past.  Whatever our reasons, we please ourselves with resisting love and build a world that is narrow and self-contained but devoid of true joy.

We may find moments of happiness within our loveless fortress but joy eludes.   In the quiet darkness we know that we are alone and it is not good.  We lie to ourselves to get through the night.  The things that please us when we resist love will eventually hurt us.  They will also cause us to withhold love from others.

When we choose the life of resistance to love for whatever reason, we cannot love others unconditionally.  We do not show genuine love without reservation.  In our pain genuine love shown to us never seems good enough.  Pain becomes our friend and solitude our only companion.  We cannot sustain this and it leads to our eventual destruction in one way or another.

My struggle with this is always in letting the love that others show me be enough.  It is rooted in failing to let the Father love me like a father.  I have been spending a great deal of time in the last six months learning about this and am part way there.  I still have a long way to go.  I left behind most of the things that pleased me but did me harm.  I fear, however, that I also did a great deal of damage to others who need to feel and accept real love.  This is why we all need to allow the Father to show us his love Dear Reader.  Only in it can we find the safety and strength to let failed ,flawed, and fallen humans to love us as best they are able.  Only then do we become protected from the things that hurt us.

The things that please us when we resist love may be good things but they harm us as well.  If we fail to allow others to love us, it is because we do not love ourselves in the proper way.  We cannot, therefore, love others as we are commanded to do.  We cannot speak life and love into others from this position, and that is our primary purpose full stop.

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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