Second Thoughts ~ Against the Wind

Greetings Dear Reader, 

This past week I was privileged to attend a baseball game with some friends.  I had a wonderful time getting to know some people better and meeting some new folks.  There were things under the surface, however, I have pushed away until they came crashing in on me this afternoon. 

I love baseball. I love the game but there is more.  I love the memories of baseball with my Grandfather, with my sons, and with my Grandsons.  I am missing them all terribly right now.  I would say missing them has to do with many things. 

My Grandfather’s birthday is in June.  He would have been 111 this year.  I miss talking to him and knowing he got me and loved me.  My Sons and Grandsons are 800 miles away.  It may as well be a 1000 Light Years.   I sought and was denied permission to travel to see them for my younger Son’s birthday.   My excellent and compassionate physician says I am not yet healed enough. 

All these things have orchestrated to sound the deep notes of loneliness living in my heart.  The Father is faithful and is a comfort to me.  There may never be an end to the well of loneliness until I reach Home.  At times like this, however, I feel like my struggle is against the wind when I am in this frame of mind.  I do not wish to ever be that man again. 

I am writing this because I wish to always be genuine with you, Dear Reader.  I do not have it all together nor do I possess all the answers.  I have driven people away and there those who promised to never leave who have left.  I am in a much better place now in heart and mind. 

The Father promises to meet my needs and he will care for me in this.  I will not make the mistakes of the past and try to find solace anywhere but in Christ and following him.  The Man of Sorrows; acquainted with grief is here and will carry me if necessary.  I will try, rather, to stand in this love I have found and remember my needs are met.  

Still, there will come the quiet dark and I will wish for a fellow traveler to share my heart and hurt.  When I truly need this, if I ever do, it will be there as well because the Father provides for all that I need.  What I wish never to do again, Dear Reader, is run against the Wind.  I wish only to be bourn on the Wind.   ^“The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.”  For those of you who pray for me, this is my current urgent need, your prayers. 

Against the Wind – Bob Segar 

It seems like yesterday
But it was long ago
Janey was lovely she was the queen of my nights
There in the darkness with the radio playing low, and
And the secrets that we shared
The mountains that we moved
Caught like a wildfire out of control
'Til there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to prove
And I remember what she said to me
How she swore that it never would end
I remember how she held me oh-so-tight
Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then

Against the wind
We were runnin' against the wind
We were young and strong, we were runnin' against the wind

The years rolled slowly past
And I found myself alone
Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends
I found myself further and further from my home, and I
Guess I lost my way
There were oh-so-many roads
I was living to run and running to live
Never worried about paying or even how much I owed
Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time
Breaking all of the rules that would bend
I began to find myself searching
Searching for shelter again and again

Against the wind
A little something against the wind
I found myself seeking shelter against the wind

Well those drifter's days are past me now
I've got so much more to think about
Deadlines and commitments
What to leave in, what to leave out

Against the wind
I'm still runnin' against the wind
I'm older now but still runnin' against the wind
Well I'm older now and still runnin'
Against the wind
Against the wind
Against the wind

Still runnin' (against the wind)
I'm still runnin' against the wind
(Against the wind) I'm still runnin'
(Against the wind)
I'm still runnin' against the wind
(Against the wind) still runnin'
(Against the wind)runnin' against the wind, runnin' against the wind
(Against the wind) see the young man run
(Against the wind) watch the young man run
(Against the wind) watch the young man runnin'
(Against the wind) he'll be runnin' against the wind
(Against the wind) let the cowboys ride
(Against the wind) aah
(Against the wind) let the cowboys ride
(Against the wind) they'll be ridin' against the wind
(Against the wind) against the wind
(Against the wind) ridin' against the wind...

 Wishing you joy in the journey, 

Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Every human story is part of the great story that leads to the Father getting everything back to Good.

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We are meant to be carried on and not run against the WIND.