Greetings Dear Reader,
There was a time, many years ago when I tried to learn the
value of solitude. I spent a Thanksgiving
Day alone, praying for my family and friends. I was single and did not realize how much good
I had in my life. I suppose we rarely
see those moments when we are in them.
That is something else on the list of things to learn.
Still that day was so painful for me that I felt the change
in my heart. I recall the moment when I
determined that I was done being alone.
From then until this Autumn I do not believe I have honestly confronted
that moment. It was the culmination of
fear that had built in me since I was a small child.
On that day I abandoned the protection that the Father offers
and gave part of my mind and heart over to my fear. What I did not realize is that it warped the
love and compassion I feel for others into something that was not always
beneficial for either of us. I began a
pattern of beginning with the desire to show love to others and then becoming dependent
upon their presence to chase away my fears.
That pursuit left behind so many things that I could become
and anchored me to places instead of the great pursuit of following Christ as completely
as I could. Yesterday morning I realized
that I might again be spending Thanksgiving Day alone. I am not welcome where my Sons will be
celebrating. That is not all my doing
but true none-the-less.
As I face the recurrence of that which so deeply damaged me
so long ago, I do so with new skills. I
am learning how to be in silent solitude and finding the Father in that
silence. I still feel the fear but have
been told that my armor is sufficient. I
still feel the daunting chasm in my spirit but realize that only the Father can
fill it. In the midst of it all is my
desire to truly be thankful for all that I do have.
By the time next Sunday comes around I will know how I fared. It is not lost on me that the day after
facing this solitude is called Black Friday.
My gratitude story is that I am searching in the dark for a single
match, but it is a match that I want instead of simply need.
If I can learn to seek solitude for the purpose of being
with the Father and letting him care for me, that single match can light the
way to what is next. I feel honored that
the Father takes the time to ask me the same question he asks Job: “If you have
nothing else, am I enough for you? Will
you be satisfied with just me?” I am
certain that your prayers are a great need for me as well Dear Reader. I am thankful for you even when I am alone
seeking the face of the Father.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every
writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a
home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure
store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Contacts for Aramis
Thorn:
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