Greetings Dear Reader,
I miss having a fellow traveler. A friend recently asked me if I was dating
anyone. I am not. I do have a deep-seated loneliness that yearns
for companionship. I used to try to feed
this and it caused me to be self-centered and unloving.
As I have focused on seeking the Father and loving him with all
I am, my behavior has had to change.
This has not abated the desire or loneliness.
It has allowed me to learn how seeking my own
satisfaction is unhealthy and harmful.
If I allow the Father to put me where he wishes and use me as he wills,
I do not feel the need to feed my own wants.
It seems that I am positioned by the door or even by the
gate. When the Father positions me on
the fringe, I am privileged to encounter those who need someone on the edge. I can harness grace and kindness to make others
feel welcome. I can charge the approach
others have to the Father with love.
This also allows me to engage with those trying to get
out. They do not realize how ruined they
are for life outside. The air outside of
following Christ is unfit for those who have received the breath of the Spirit. When they leave his presence and stop following,
they find they are always struggling for peace and breath at some level. If I stand by the exit, I can offer
alternatives to leaving. I can lovingly
hear their fears and pain. I can share my
own time out there wandering and explain why it does not work.
As long as the Father has me positioned here, I will do all I can to keep watch and tend the
fires. If you are seeking a way in or
out, you can tell me and I will love you and listen to your heart. What I must do, Dear Reader is guard my own
heart so that it focuses on the Father instead of my own weaknesses. I will keep the fire burning and gladly show
you the way to the lighted inn if you ask.
You are the only one who can decide if you will go in. The Father will compel you but not force
you. The Son will draw you to himself. The Spirit will show you why you must
go. I am here just to love you and welcome
you.
I Stand by the Door - An Apologia for my Life -
Samuel Moore Shoemaker
I stand by the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out.
The door is the most important door in the world -
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men,
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it.
So, I stand by the door.
The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for men to find that door - the door to God.
The most important thing that any man can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands
And put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks
And opens to the man's own touch.
Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live on the other side of it - live because they have
not found it.
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him.
So, I stand by the door.
Go in great saints; go all the way in -
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics.
It is a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in.
Sometimes venture in a little farther,
But my place seems closer to the opening.
So, I stand by the door.
There is another reason why I stand there.
Some people get part way in and become afraid
Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them;
For God is so very great and asks all of us.
And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia
And want to get out. 'Let me out!' they cry.
And the people way inside only terrify them more.
Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are
spoiled.
For the old life, they have seen too much:
One taste of God and nothing but God will do any more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened
Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
To tell them how much better it is inside.
The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving - preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door
But would like to run away. So, for them too,
I stand by the door.
I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not yet even found the door.
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.
Where? Outside the door -
Thousands of them. Millions of them.
But - more important for me -
One of them, two of them, ten of them.
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So, I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.
'I had rather be a door-keeper
So, I stand by the door.
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Aramis Thorn
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, "That is why every writer who has become
a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a homeowner. He liberally
hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Every human story is part of the great story that leads
to the Father getting everything back to Good.
Contacts for Aramis
Thorn:
#aramisthorn
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Those standing watch are also in the right position.